Friday, May 4, 2012

Live Blogging The Avengers

Hey Everyone out there reading AllOneWord. I'm here to live blog the new movie that everyone has been talking about. That's right, I'll be live blogging The Avengers. I brought my cell phone and I'll be posting updates to let you know how awesome this movie is.

11:35 PM   Man, this place is packed.There are people sitting in the rows. A few people are down in the front in their costumes. A lanky dude with a blue and red Frisbee is battling an overweight man painted green.

11:37 PM   Someone walks by me and says "May the fourth be with you." I don't get it. Nerds are weird. 

11:41 PM   The overweight man yelled "You don't want to make me angry" and ripped his shirt off, fat cascading over his shorts. They are cut-off khakis that are crudely colored with purple Sharpee. This tired him out, and now he's laying on the floor trying to regain his breath.

11:45 PM   I mean May the Force be with you is a Star Wars reference. We're in an Avengers movie. What?

11:47 PM   Previews!  

11:51 PM   Damn, whatever this movie is it looks sweet. Put this one down as a must watch AW DAMMIT IT'S SOME SNOW WHITE BULLSHIT.

12:01 AM   Why say fourth instead of force anyway. It makes sense to...

12:02 AM   The movie is starting!

12:04 AM   Marvel Logo on the screen. Awesome.

12:06 AM   Everyone seems mad at me for some reason.

12:10 AM   People are being very rude and trying to talk to me about something. I don't want to hear it, I'm trying to live blog.

12:18 AM   Looks like a couple of dudes made it here late and are using flashlights to find some open seats. Not today dicks, that's what happens when you come late.

12:19 AM   Oh, they're staff.

12:21 AM   The staff ldfkg dflk gdfg sdklllppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppsdasf

12:23 AM   At least they let me go back and get my phone.

12:25 AM   It's pretty cold out here for May. What gives.

12:35 AM   Well, I can't see the screen since it's inside but I can make out Robert Downy Jr.'s voice. So I can confirm that Robert Downy Jr. has speaking parts.

12:43 AM   I attempt to call my friends. They have their phones turned off or something.

2:03 AM   Oh I get it. It's May fourth today.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Xbox Fraud Investigation Team struggles to solve case of "why should we care?"

Recently, The Xbox Investigation Team has convinced me that they are staffed with hamsters in Sherlock Holmes costumes. Perhaps with magnifying glasses taped to their backs.

I say this because I recently brought to them an open and shut case, one that could easily be solved by leaning over slightly and pressing the enter button. Perhaps that was too much for Xbox. Perhaps they were too busy investigating why my Skyrim character is hurtling 50 feet in the air while trying to cross over a stream. Perhaps they are stuck on the hamster wheel and their magnifying glasses are caught in the spokes. I'm no expert, but I'm sure that is more believable then what ever it is they actually did.

We're on the case!
We're on the case!